Sunday, March 31, 2013

Seduction and Snacks Review

Book Review March 24

Seduction & Snacks (Chocolate Lovers #1)

by: Tara Sivec

★★★★★ 5 STARS + 10 more★★★★★★★★★★stars for Awesomeness

Blurb: Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life.

When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time.

With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.

I almost wanna sue the author of this book for physical pain because both my stomach and face are in excruciating pain from laughing at practically every page of this book. It's like your subconscious on crack without the filter. All those negative, naughty thoughts always playing in the back of your mind that you can never say, well, these characters have no problem letting it all out. Excuse me while I use some GIF's to release some much needed laughter. 

Never in my life have I laughed as hard as I did while reading Seduction and Snacks. Every single word was a joy and after spending a week recommending this to everyone I know and suffering from a sore stomach and face (from laughing so hard) I think I’ve calmed enough to write this review. Quite simply, everyone needs to read this. Wonderful is not the word. This book is beyond hilarious and Tara Sivec has a magic way with words that, though the plot may be overshadowed by all the comedy and sarcasm within the book, it all flows seamlessly together to create a masterpiece. (I’ve read straight comedy books and in my opinion they all have nothing on this book.)

“I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe stick it in a gift bag from Target and give it to him like a nice card that says, “Thank you for being you! Just a little virginity to show my gratitude.” - Claire
As I said, the plot is a minor background piece. Girl meets boys, (Claire and Carter) they sleep together and she runs away the next morning. Low and behold nine months later out pops a little baby and she has no idea who or where the baby daddy is. Miraculously he just happens to walk into the bar she’s working in a few years later and as corny as it may sound, the rest is history.

All the characters are without filters. All those thoughts you have in the back of your mind, but would never say out loud-how fat your friends ass looks or how badly they need to shower, how your boss must have a cross dressing fetish the way he pauses in the lingerie section at the mall-these characters have no qualms about letting it all hang out. At times it seems like a bit much but the hilarity of it all makes everything acceptable. The sarcasm can go a bit far at times, but it all worked out.

“As far as I know, I don’t have exploding vagina syndrome.”-Claire

I really enjoyed the way the book started. Claire gives us an inside look into her life and absolute hatred of all things children. And then wham! her one night of caution thrown to the wind, makes her reorganize her priorities. Honestly, I was so happy she had the balls to mention how not all babies are cute or born cute. Just stating a fact, the end. Claire is like my role model. Nothing and no one can get in the way of her mouth.
It was a little overwhelming how all the characters were lacking a filter on their mouths. I found it a little weird that not one character we meet doesn't think before they speak or have slightly less outlandish conversations. No shy person here.

“Is that a birthmark? No, it’s a dick mark.” – Claire

I really enjoyed all the interactions with their son Gavin. The things Claire says to him are hilarious and not in a way that makes her a bad mother, just a bit unconventional. He too, is minus a filter, and since kids already say the darnedest things he fits right in. The exchanges with Carter and Gavin were not as thrilling as I would assume. Carter gets over the fact he has a kid pretty fast and easily steps up to the plate (see what I mean about a minor plot-line . The one scene, however, in the end when Carter makes his big romantic gesture, with Claire’s family and friends around the table, I thought Gavin should have been there and he wasn’t. I’d say that’s honestly my only complaint with this book and it barely matters. Besides there’s another book with Claire and Carter: Futures and Frosting and even one with Carter and Claire’s friends Drew and Jenny in Troubles and Treats. I don’t know if my stomach can handle another hilarious comedy like this one but I’ll man up and hope you can’t die from laughing to hard or falling off the couch.

I really think this book should work as therapy. No matter the shitty day you are having, this book was easily immersible and every bad mood I had drifted away until I forgot why I was so upset anyway. If reading is normally your drug, prepare yourself because Seduction and Snacks will become your highly volatile prescription only HAPPY PILL.


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