Book Review April 4th
Find You in the Dark
by: Meredith Walters
★★★★ 4 StarsBlurb: Maggie Young had the market on normal. Normal friends, normal parents, normal grades...normal life. Until him.
Clayton Reed was running from his past and an army of personal demons that threatened to take him down. He never thought he had a chance at happiness.Until her.
Maggie thought their love could overcome anything. Clay thought she was all he needed to fix his messy life. That together, they could face the world.But the darkness is always waiting.
Sometimes the greatest obstacle to true love is within yourself.
So I’m thinking I did not like Find You in the Dark as much as many other reviewers. It was really good and I was entranced from the beginning but the prologue sort of sets you up to fail and I could not help but wait for the other shoe to drop (whatever that really means). In some ways this book is filled with hills, valleys and corkscrews that nearly threw me out of my seat. It was like standing on a cliff waiting for a strong wind to blow you over without a moments warning. That being said, this is an edge of your seat read. Drama is too small a word for what these characters go through but yet you can’t help but keep going.
So that brings me to why I gave this book 4 stars instead of the wondrous 5. Well, honestly, I found Maggie to be too much of a glutton for punishment. She was warned from the beginning that Clay had issues. Maybe not all the facts but she still instinctively knew more than he let on. And I can understand her going back and forth but it honestly bothered me how many times he said sorry. Maggie has a great relationship role model in her parents, who honestly rock, but obviously she needs tension and drama in her life to focus. She complains in the beginning that her life was so dull but then she gets her wish and it’s anything but. In some ways this was too much of an emotionally abusive relationship and it grated on my nerves. She kept wanting to help Clay, to fix him, when in reality that’s too unrealistic. Her constant defense of him to her friends and family was sort of off-putting because though you know her heart is in the right place, her head is blocking out the reality. She set herself up in this bubble of happiness that repelled all negativity even when it was right in front of her face. Granted, she had balls when needed and could handle herself, I just wanted her to be a little stronger and make Clay fight harder. In many ways, he becomes her rebellious stage and she holds nothing back. Maggie is outspoken and sometimes the things she said just make you want to high five her. More often than not Maggie’s R rated thoughts are very guy-like. Her teenage hormones are off the charts and I was surprised she didn’t just start humping Clay’s leg at some points. She’s sarcastic and brazen but gives too much of herself up to Clay. It’s like she loses who she really is to be with him. I wanted more of an inner struggle with her that didn’t constantly revolve around Clay. Every time he would say something sweet it’s like her head burst and she became lost in the moment.
“When you’re in a room, Maggie, all I see is you. You make everything better. Clearer. You stop the crazy noise in my head. I can think, hell, I can breathe when we’re together.” - Clay
Clay. Now he was kind of a downer, always reflecting back on his ‘illness.’ It was kind of weak and seemed like a way out or an excuse for everything. I’ll admit I’m a sucker for his artistic abilities and constantly leaving her butterfly drawing in her locker. He definitely has his sweet moments but he’s like a ticking time bomb and the happy times don’t last for long. Don’t get me wrong I understand why he is the way he is. His parents, heaven help me, they need to be shot. There should be a law or something against people like that procreating, it should never happen. Considering their behavior and feelings for their son, they should be happy he’s not butchering small animals in the backyard. All his life Clay sought attention and/or love of any kind and not receiving it would leave anyone in a lurch. Every emotion would be compromised and jumbled together. This worried me more for Maggie because she kept thinking, “I’m what he needs,” when all the emotions from their relationship felt like they were fracturing him and he never knew what he really needed. Talk about a confused boy. And Clay just kept putting so much untold pressure on her by claiming she was all he needed to be better. It was romantic but filled with caution because you just know that her love is not all he NEEDS. Pain was his only outlet and as sad as it was, he really did need help. This was clearly not something he would work out on his own or sadly with Maggie’s help. Clay really needs to ditch his parents though, 18 is coming none too soon for Clay. Also his narcissistic and manipulative behavior made me want to stab him.
“I couldn’t keep hold of the happiness I felt in those moments when things were good. Because the bad loomed not far away, just waiting to wipe everything else away.” - Maggie
Maggie’s friends are beyond awesome. It’s too bad everyone does not have lifetime friends like these two who will smack you in the face when you need it and give you a shoulder to cry on when your heart is broken. Even when they know something is amiss or Clay throws one of his tantrums, they bow down to Maggie and are there for her even as she pushes them away. They fight for her and the connection between the three is as if they were siblings. Rachel is amazing. I love how she gets all up in Maggie’s shit and does not hold back. This is what Clay needs. More people that have his back and bring him down to reality when need be. Rachel and Daniel getting together too when the oh-so-obvious sparks were flying was a relief. You could just tell they were meant to be and when it finally happened I was a little giddy …
Even though the ending beyond sucked and we were prepared for it, I have high hopes for Clay in the end. Like I’m sure Maggie knows, Clay will never be normal or perfect but really, who is? Maggie goes into the relationship with her eyes mostly wide open. But their age and her albeit perfect life leave her at a standstill and she is constantly trying to fix things. I think it was a good thing that Clay is finally getting help because for a minute there I was worried he would become abusive. It just seemed that’s where it was heading. Clay
Bunches of annoying grammar and editing errors throughout. Completely wrong words, misspells and typos. Beyond frustrating as if this story wasn’t making me bite my nails to begin with. Though because of the topic it may have actually helped…
This is not your garden variety HEA, girl meets guys, they fall in love, the end. Oh no, this is a romantic tragedy writing to happen. Shakespeare has nothing on Clay and Maggie. Clay is kind of scary. You never know what to expect from him next. This was definitely a roller-coaster ride read and I would recommend it to those who like their ready a little dark, dirty and emotionally charged. These characters may be in high school but their relationship and issues are all Adult.This is a relationship bordering on obsession and it will suck you in.
Would I recommend this?? Most definitely. Just brace yourself for a wild ride…. And there's more in Light in the Shadows (Find You in the Dark #2), can't wait to see what new dramas arise.
My Favorite Line: “You can’t go all Neolithic man on me. You can’t hit me over the head with your club and drag me back to your cave when you get upset with something I do.” - Maggie